


Spinning the Narada

by BlueSkyFlying



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Jim expelled, post Narada
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-06 12:11:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14056734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueSkyFlying/pseuds/BlueSkyFlying
Summary: Shocked by the destruction of Vulcan and half the Fleet, Star Fleet Command considers how to spin the situation to best advantage.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> One of my first works. Canon Jim would have a bit more fight in him, but I do love to make him suffer - and it is an alternate universe.

The Admirals’ meeting is hastily convened. They sit looking at each other – they can hardly believe it. Each of them has multiple years’ experience of space, strange new worlds, weird customs, war – but this, this no one can believe. The destruction of half the fleet, the destruction of Vulcan, a whole fucking planet for God’s sake – just gone. The very real chance that Earth will share the same fate as Vulcan and then….then a ship full of cadets, led by a stowaway, engage and destroy that monstrous ship, is forced to eject and blow their warp core to avoid being sucked into a black hole and now is limping back to Earth at impulse speed only, the Enterprise – the brand new flagship to be captained by hero Christopher Pike – coming back in pieces with a decimated crew.

The Admirals look at each other.

“It’s a fucking disaster,” says Komack, “and we need to handle this just right.”

Some have the integrity to cringe but they know what he is talking about. The Federation Council has been discussing cutbacks to the Starfleet budget for some time now. And now half the fleet is gone, the human cost is terrible but the actual physical monetary cost of the loss of the hardware is … beyond colossal.

“But when they hear about Vulcan, when they all realise how easily it could have been Earth, surely the fear factor alone will make them face facts, that the fleet will have to be rebuilt. Once this gets out, the Federation will be wide open. The Klingons, the Cardassians, God even the Orion pirates will think they’ll have a free rein,” argues Barnett.

“We have to manage this situation or else the whole population could panic. We have a few days before the Enterprise gets home. We need to manage this, manage the story,” says Komack.

“It’s a PR godsend, “ says Deacon, who heads the PR department. “Starfleet cadets, led by George Kirk’s son, defeat the Romulans and save Earth. We can put a great spin on this – have you seen this kid? He’s the most photogenic and for God sake, he’s George fucking Kirk’s son. You could’t make this stuff up!”

“It’s a PR disaster,” Komack snarls across the table. “You think a panicked population are going to be reassured by a pretty face?   They are going to realise pretty damn fast that Starfleet was represented in this battle by a group of kids led by a delinquent who wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place. You think people are going to believe they won through because of tactical brilliance rather than dumb luck? The press are going to start digging, this kid is not what we want the face of new Starfleet to be – he’s got a prison record for God’s sake. He’s been a thorn in our side all through his three years at the Academy. He was on academic suspension and was probably heading for expulsion.”

“What are you saying?” Archer says.

“What I’m saying is that we have to manage the situation and the story,” Komack repeats. “We need to reassure the people of Earth, the whole Federation, that this wasn’t dumb luck. That Starfleet had a handle on this – that we did what we were supposed to be doing and did it well. Otherwise we leave ourselves wide open to our enemies, we lose public confidence and we can wave goodbye to our budget.”

“And how are we supposed to do all this?” asks Archer sceptically.

“Enterprise is still a week from home, we are managing all communications. We make damn sure that the story that gets out is the story that will do Starfleet and the Federation the best service. Pike should be leading this story. People know Pike – he’s a Federation hero, now he’s a wounded Federation hero who saved Earth and destroyed the Romulan threat. Assisted by his First Officer, Spock.”

Deacon nods. “That could work… Spock’s involvement is a plus, given what happened to Vulcan. We can play that up. The young officer, despite the tragedy besetting his home world, leading his young crew to rescue Pike and save Earth.”

“But what about Kirk?” asks Archer. “I mean, when all’s said and done, he seems to have been the one who-“

“Give it a rest, Archer. We all know you’re a bit soft where Kirk’s concerned but do you really believe that cocky cadet did everything on his own? He’s probably spinning his own version of events to make sure that we forget about the Maru debacle. When Pike recovers consciousness and when we get the full reports, well, they might tell a very different story.”

“So what do we do?”

““I want an immediate media blackout on this,” Komack continued, “ – nothing is to be released that doesn’t go out throught SFPR first. Deacon, I’m holding you responsible for this. Vulcan has just been destroyed. Earth nearly destroyed. Wartime restrictions are going to be applied and anyone breaking them is going to be guilty of treason. Now get a fast shuttle out to the Enterprise and get Kirk off and back here asap. And brief the entire crew. I want a gag order on everyone from the XO down to the lowest crewman. Deacon – you draft out the official position, run it past us first and then get it out to the Enterprise. Emphasise the reasons we are having to do this. We’re not happy about it, but in times of war etc etc. the needs of the many have to outweigh the needs of the few. That this is the best way to safeguard the reputation of the Fleet and that the safety of Earth and the Federation depends on the reputation of the Fleet. Make sure they all know the consequences of loose lips. Any leak will be tracked down, anyone breaking the silence will be dealt with – harshly. ”

“Pike won’t be happy about his little protégé being sidelined.”

“From what I hear Pike is in a bad way. He’s still unconscious and might not even make it back. He’s the least of our worries.”

“I don’t see how on earth you think we can get away with this,” growled Archer.

“We can if we do it right. We can if we move hard and fast.” Komack pounded the top of the desk for emphasis.

\-----

Enterprise – 5 days out from Earth

After the terror, the euphoria. During the confrontation training had kicked in – just as their instructors had always said it would. After the victory – the heady feeling of simply being alive. But now that was gone too and it was being brought home just how much they had lost. Friends and family and colleagues – all lost without even the hope of a body to bring home and grieve over.   The destruction of half the fleet, the destruction of Vulcan – this was now becoming reality. These things had actually happened and would have to be dealt with.

The crew of the Enterprise only had to look around them to see how close to disaster they themselves had come. The Enterprise was no longer the gleaming flagship waiting for the President of the Federation to break a bottle of champagne over her bows. She was now half way to being a wreck. Some parts of engineering were now no-go areas unless you were fully suited. Living quarters were cramped as people were doubled and trebled up to make room for Vulcan survivors. That in itself was no bad thing as no one wanted to be alone now with their thoughts. They wanted to know that they were in this together. Not much was said – it was enough to have someone near by, someone to touch, to hold a hand or clap a shoulder in confirmation that this at least was real. The crew was as damaged as the ship, it could be seen in their faces, exhausted and despairing. It was seen in their shaking hands.

Kirk was everywhere, helping not only on the engineering decks which were the priority and where technical know how was at a premium but anywhere where a shoulder was needed to brace a girder or beam. A shoulder also for the crew – never before had it been made more clear to them that they were in this together, no longer just a phrase but a reality. There was no “them and us” – the Acting Captain was working alongside them, no matter how menial the task.

It was a bone of contention with the XO. Kirk rubbed his hands through his already wild and dirty hair. “Spock, I know that I am supposed to be on the bridge. I know it’s my shift but there is absolutely no point in my sitting in the chair for 8 hours looking at a blank screen while we go through friendly space at about 20 miles an hour!”

Spock, of course, was able to provide the exact speed they were achieving. He didn’t seem to get the point though.

It was also a bone of contention with the CMO. “Jim, you need to come down to Sickbay. You know it and I know it – we need to get you looked at so I want you down here sooner rather than later.”

Kirk grimaced. How could you tell your CMO and friend that the pain was the only thing keeping you awake. So you don’t. You just disappear into the bowels of the ship where Scotty at least was glad to see him. How could you explain that this might be the only opportunity to be the Captain, albeit acting Captain of the Enterprise? And that you had a sneaking suspicion that SFC might not be too happy about you being in command and how actually that had come about and that you might be out on your ear very shortly? So even though you were aching and breaking and struggling to keep your eyes open, you wanted and needed to experience every second because you might not get it again. And dammit, you were helping. Helping the ship and helping people and you would not sit back in the chair or in sickbay where there was something you could do to make things better.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, he thought. We were supposed to be excited and… happy. On the Enterprise because that was what we wanted. But Bones would be down in sickbay, impressing Puri and having coffee with the other juniors and complaining about how overworked and underappreciated he was.   And I would be – on the bridge I hope, probably only on gamma shift but Pike would be there looking out for me and I would be meeting Bones after shift and complaining to him about Spock and how I was never gonna get the chance to take the chair and wondering when and where our first planet fall would be and if we would ever get picked for landing party --- and stuff.  

“Kirk”, said Uhura, still not quite bringing herself to call him Captain. “We are being hailed by the Aeneus. They’re coming alongside. It’s a team to do an initial briefing.”

“That was quick. I though they’d wait until we got back. Okay. Permission granted for them to come aboard. Spock, you had better -”

“They already are aboard,” said Uhura in surprise. “They didn’t actually wait for permission.” She paused. “And they’re on their way to the bridge.”

Kirk blinked tiredly. “Well, a bit of advance notice would have been nice. “ He glanced down at himself. He was still in his blacks and they were torn and grimy. To be honest, he was rather grimy himself. Perhaps he should have had a shower before coming up from Engineering. A rest would have been nice too and something to eat and maybe – okay – a quick once over by Bones because now that he thought about it, hurty things were beginning to kick in just a little bit too much. All over.

The lift doors opened and three officers entered, looking round them.

“Commander Gregory Rivers. Which of you is Cadet Kirk?” He was tall, dark and of course immaculately dressed.

Kirk hastily wiped his hand on his pants before holding it out. “That’d be me, Sir.”

Rivers looked at the hand for a moment and then returned his gaze to Kirk’s face. After an awkward second or two, Kirk let his hand drop.

“Sir, we were not given any notice that you were coming but if –“

“Cadet Kirk, you will transfer immediately to the Aeneus for return to Earth for debriefing. I will be taking command of the Enterprise. Lieutenant Commander Spock, you will liaise with my team to arrange for crew debriefings on board.”

Spock came to stand behind Kirk. “Acting Captain Kirk has a considerable amount of preparation to do with his senior staff before we debrief.”

Kirk flashed a quick look of thanks at Spock.

“So you can all get your stories straight first? I think not.” Rivers actually sneered. He ignored the murmur of displeasure his comment created around the bridge. “Now Cadet. “

He gestured to the two officers behind him who actually took Kirk by the arms to move him towards the lift. Kirk was pleased to note that the engine oil from his shirt transferred quite quickly to their pristine uniforms.

“This is highly irregular,” said Spock, at the same time motioning the other bridge officers who had risen to their feet in alarm to stand down.

“And you don’t think this situation we find ourselves in is irregular, Lieutenant Commander?” said Rivers. Looking round the bridge, he addressed them all. “Please do not let your success against one Romulan vessel go to your heads or blind you to the situation we find ourselves in. I repeat, I am now in command of the Enterprise.”

Spock raised an eyebrow. “ I am sure, sir, that we appreciate the severity of the situation better than yourselves. The officers and crew will be most … disturbed that Acting Captain Kirk will not be with them for the return to Earth. His leadership has been exemplary.”

Uhura hid a smirk as she observed the 180 degree turnaround Spock was achieving in his support of Kirk, particularly in view of his most recent remarks to Kirk regarding his failure to appreciate the importance of the Captain’s position on the bridge.

Rivers didn’t even blink. “Just gather your senior staff together in the briefing room. We’ll speak to them first and then we will be speaking individually with every crew member. My staff are already waiting.”

Kirk gave them a wry smile as he was hustled off the bridge. “Catch you later, guys and thanks for everything. You all did great. Oh hey – would you let Bones know that…” The closing turbolift doors shut off the message to Dr McCoy and the bridge crew was left looking at each other.

Spock nodded to Uhura and seconds later could hear raised voices as both Dr McCoy and the strange Mr Scott (who had been given a temporary secondment to the post of Chief Engineer by Kirk) were on the comm demanding to know why they were being called away, didn’t the Bridge know they had work to do, lives to save, engines to hold together with spit and string (Spock hoped this last was an exaggeration).   If Kirk’s departure from the Bridge had not been so abrupt and involved such uncalled for manhandling, Spock could almost have been amused. Almost.

\-----

“You have got to be kidding me!” McCoy snarled into Rivers’ face. Rivers took out a white handkerchief from somewhere and actually wiped spittle from his face.

“You’re telling us that you’re going to completely rewrite what happened and not give Jim any credit at all? Pretend he wasn’t even here?”

“We have already explained Star Fleet Command’s rationale for these decisions. They are not taken lightly but are considered to be in the best interests of the Fleet and the Federation.”

“And what about our best interests? What about Jim’s?”

“This is not a request, this is an order. Any deviation from the agreed position, any leaks to the press will be regarded as treason and the guilty person treated accordingly.”

“You cannot be serious!” McCoy repeated desparately. “Jim saved the ship, he saved the Earth! I am not going to let you drop him in the shit like this – just for good PR!”

“Sit down Doctor.” Said Rivers unperturbed. “I said, sit down! All of you. You seem to forget that you are in Starfleet which is a military organisation. You do not have the option of choosing which orders you will follow and which you will not or there will be severe consequences. Any one disobeying these orders will face immediate court martial. Think about it. You, Doctor, I understand you have a young daughter. Even if you avoided prison, Star Fleet could post you to the other end of the galaxy and forget about you.”

“They couldn’t do that…” began McCoy grey faced.

“Archer did it to me,” reminded Scotty drably. “And if it hadn’t been for Kirk, I would still be there on Delta Vega.”

“You must see how hard this is,” pleaded Sulu. “Kirk saved my life on the drill. How can I just forget that?”

“Captain Pike will not allow it,” McCoy said with a fair amount of confidence.

“Captain Pike will have no choice in the matter either,” said Rivers. “As I said, my staff will be meeting with you individually and your teams.   Although you are already covered by your Starfleet oath, you will again be required to sign a confidentiality agreement. We expect you to sign it and to direct your subordinates to sign. It will now be your responsibility to make your staff understand the position we are in. It shouldn’t be too difficult – most of them probably don’t even know who Kirk is.”

“Well, I’ll just resign,” said McCoy bitterly.

“Doctor, how many times must I say it to you? You have signed up to a military organisation. You will not be allowed to resign. Do not try my patience any longer.” Rivers stood up.

“I must make a formal protest,” said Spock. “While Starfleet’s intentions may be honourable, the methodology is not. To allow such a blatant misrepresentation of the truth which will run roughshod over Acting Captain Kirk cannot be viewed with any equilibrium. While his entry on to the ship was somewhat irregular, his actions were from the best of intentions and even Starfleet cannot argue against the outcome of those actions.”

Rivers smiled nastily. “I would like to say your protest has been noted, Lieutenant Commander, but it will not be. It will not be recorded anywhere or lodged anywhere or read by anyone. That’s it gentlemen. There is nothing more to be said.”

\-----

Kirk stood unhappily outside the main conference room at SFC. They had let him have a shower and to change back into his cadet’s uniform. He had had something to eat. He had even had a brief once over by a Dr Boyce at SF Medical, although Boyce had been most vociferous that he needed to be given proper treatment. He had been told brusquely that there wasn’t time for that and as Kirk wasn’t exactly bleeding out over the floor, Boyce had reluctantly let him go. Kirk would have been lying if he had said the few hours sleep on the Aeneus had refreshed him – the thought of the ordeal ahead had seen to that. His rather rough removal from the Enterprise did not bode well but he assured himself that it was just a debriefing. No one had suggested that he needed representation with him. He just had to take a deep breath and tell the truth. (Well, maybe hedge round McCoy’s involvement in his boarding of the Enterprise but otherwise tell the truth.)

Yes, some of that truth was a bit far fetched and didn’t altogether show him in a good light (“ _Yes sir, I mutinied and Lieutenant Spock threw me off the ship and marooned me on Delta Vega where I met same Lieutenant Spock but now a lot older who told me about the mad Romulan creating a singularity and actually this is an alternate universe and in the real universe I am supposed to be Captain of the Enterprise but I got back to the ship because old Spock told this guy Scotty about a formula he hadn’t written yet … and it all goes downhill from there really. But hey, we saved the Earth and that has to count for something. Doesn’t it?_ )

He didn’t feel so sure any more.

“They are ready for you now, Cadet.”

\------

After two hours they let him sit down.

After three hours, they allowed him a glass of water.

The grim faces of the assembled Admirals told their own story. Kirk felt his legs get increasingly wobbly and his hearing and concentration seemed to phase in and out as though it was a dream.

“…the position the Federation and Starfleet are in. The destruction of half the fleet, the destruction of Vulcan has left us in disarray and wide open. Our enemies cannot know how wide open. We cannot let it be known that the only way we got out of this situation was because a bunch of kids got lucky. We have to demonstrate a strong front otherwise the Romulans, the Klingons, the Cardassians, the Orions – they’ll all think they can move in. Until we get the fleet back to strength, we have to bluff.” Komack’s voice was persuasive as if everyone would surely agree with him.

“It’s a matter of public confidence too, “ said Admiral Deacon. “Earth was nearly destroyed. When people realise how close they came to disaster, when they realise that what happened to Vulcan so nearly happened to them – well, there’d be panic in the streets. We have to show the people here a strong front too. Chris Pike is the face of Starfleet, he’s a hero and now he’s a wounded hero. People will be happy to believe that he was in charge of the Enterprise and the situation throughout.”

“But what about me? Are you saying I’m just being wiped from the record?” Kirk wobbled.

“You were a stowaway,Kirk. You shouldn’t have been there in the first place,” snapped Komack. “It is only because some of the Board feel they owe you something because of your father that you are not facing summary court martial.”

“Unfortunately Kirk we find ourselves having to go back to your hearing regarding your behaviour in the Kobyashu Maru test,” said Barnett heavily. “I’m sorry, but having considered the evidence it is a majority decision of the Board that you be expelled from the Academy. “

“What evidence?” Kirk squeaked. “We didn’t get finishing the hearing. I still have a lot to say in my defence about that.”

“Really, Kirk?” sneered Komack. “I would have thought you would jump at the opportunity to keep your head down. You have been a disgrace to the Academy and the Fleet since Day One. You have consistently cheated in your term work and exams..”

“I’ve never cheated!”

“Really? I think your performance in the Maru shows otherwise. Some teaching staff were prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt but you couldn’t even cheat successfully. If you hadn’t gone for such high marks in every damn subject you might have kept your head under the radar but you had to be top in everything. Damn stupid.”

“I’ve never cheated in any of my work or exams. I can show you…”

“You’ve brought the Academy into disrepute by acting like a damn slut. And we’ve all heard the rumours – about why Pike was so keen to recruit you and be your mentor.”

Deacon broke in hastily. “We don’t want to go there. We have to make sure Pike’s clean.”

“But I was there. I helped…”

“But what exactly did you do, Cadet?” This from Admiral Pargeter who was picking at his padd. “By your own admission it was Lieutenant Uhura who translated the message about the destruction of the Klingon fleet. You may have alerted Captain Pike to the er “lightning storm in space” but who is to say that Captain Pike would not have grasped the severity of the situation himself? He is one of our most experienced officers – are you saying that he and his officers would not have reached the same conclusions themselves? It was Captain Pike who wrote the definitive paper on the destruction of the Kelvin after all.   Did you save Vulcan?” he went on relentlessly. “Well, obviously you didn’t. You may have space dived down to the drill, with two other officers I might add, but you did not complete the task in time and Vulcan paid the price. After that you mutinied and it seems to me that Lieutenant Spock was quite in order to have you removed. If it was up to me, you would be facing court martial for that alone. But let us continue – you were saved by this older Vulcan on Delta Vega who led you to Montgomery Scott.   It was Scott’s formula that got you back to the Enterprise, I understand. It was Scott’s formula and the idea of a seventeen year old Ensign which allowed Lieutenant Spock and you to board the Romulan vessel.   It was Spock who piloted the Vulcan vessel which destroyed the Romulan vessel. Yes, you helped retrieve Captain Pike and we are grateful for that but it was nothing that a competent security team could not have done. Then it was Montgomery Scott again who came up with the idea of detonating the warp core to allow the Enterprise to escape the ensuing singularity. Forgive me, Cadet Kirk but it seems to me that you actually did very little apart from hanging on the coat tails of your colleagues and generally grandstanding in the manner that has been characteristic of you over the past three years. Can you really disagree?”

Kirk blinked tiredly. “I don’t want to take credit for everything done by Cadet Uhura, Mr Spock, Sulu, Chekov and Mr Scott. Everyone – they all did wonderful work. I’m not saying it was all me.”

“But isn’t that exactly what you are doing?” Pargeter continued. “If you had not been taken off the Enterprise and brought here, wouldn’t you even now be preparing to meet the press with your crew behind you – probably a good way behind.”

“No, sir,” Kirk protested weakly. “No, I would give them all the credit they deserve. I would.”

“And now we get the false modesty” said Pargeter.

God, wasn’t there anything he could say right?

“We all know you only got into the Academy on your Daddy’s name and for the last three years you have been strutting round like you own the place. Behaving like a slut and bringing the Academy into disrepute.”

“That’s a bit harsh,” said Archer. “All the cadets can get a bit wild.”

“They don’t all have criminal records.”

“So that’s it? I’m out?” said Kirk desperately. “Just like that? “

“Just like that. Oh and by the way, don’t think that all you have to do is threaten to go the press. One word about this and it’s not only your head on the line.”

“What do you mean?”

“I believe it was Dr Leonard McCoy, another cadet, who actually smuggled you on board the Enterprise?”

Kirk looked up sharply. He had been careful to keep that out of his statement.

“Yes, we have the record of Lieutenant Sharp who was helping assign cadets to their ships before you shipped out. He has made a notation that despite being on academic suspension, Dr McCoy insisted on bringing you on board to remain under his medical supervision.”

“I was having an allergic reaction. A bad one.”

“How convenient and well-timed. Do we need to investigate further into that allergic reaction? Do you really want your friend investigated and charged? He has a family, I believe. “

They had him. They had found his weak spot and knew how to exploit it.

“There’s nothing more to say here, “ said Komack closing his padd. “You will be escorted from the premises and we do not want to hear of you again. If we do, understand that it will not go well for you and Dr McCoy. We are on a war footing now. “ He stood and pushed his chair back. With a nod to the other Admirals he left the room.

Kirk sat there still not quite believing what had just happened. Yes, while on the Enterprise he had had his concerns about how the upper echelons would view his behaviour, but perhaps naively he had – despite those doubts – really thought that the good would outweigh the bad. That he would be reprimanded perhaps, even sent back to repeat a year at the Academy. But he had helped save Earth.   He knew the Maru was just an excuse. He knew that if that hearing had been allowed to progress, he could have easily held his own against Spock. But some people just didn’t like him – important people – and he could have played politics and kept his head down but no, the great Jim Kirk had to sound off everywhere about how great he was and this was the result.

He stood shakily.

Archer alone had waited behind. He came over. “I’m sorry, Kirk. I really am.”

“Didn’t hear you defending me though, did I?” said Kirk bitterly.

“Jim, you have to realise what’s going on here. This could have gone a lot worse. Some of them were talking about letting Section 31 take over the situation. If that had happened you wouldn’t be standing here now. They’d have taken you and no one would probably ever have seen you again. Komack’s right in one thing – we have to treat this as a war situation now. We can’t let our enemies know how vulnerable we are.”

“So I just get run over by the bus.”

“I’m sorry,” Archer said again. “Look, it would probably be better if you got out of San Francisco for a while. Keep your head down. In a year or two, who knows. Things might have changed. How are you for money?”

“I’ll manage.”

Two security men entered the chamber.

“Excuse me Admiral but we have orders to escort the Cadet from the Academy premises.” One said.

“What about my stuff? I need to go..”

“Got it here.” The other man said holding up a ratty duffle. “Everything in your dorm room that wasn’t Starfleet property.”

“You’ll just need to change out of your reds. We have your civilian clothes here.”

From the window, Archer watched as the two security officers escorted Kirk across campus to the main gates. He sighed and turned away.

 

1 day from Earth

“What? What is it now?” McCoy came onto the bridge. He looked exhausted. He looked around. God was that Chekov crying? There were tears on his face. “ _What?_ ”

Sulu turned to him with a grim expression. “We’re in range of the news feeds from Earth. It’s about Kirk.”

“What? Just show me.”

Uhura turned to her console and seconds later the main viewscreen lit up showing a local TV studio. McCoy recognised the set and the presenters – it was Good Morning San Francisco. He usually switched it on in the morning for the weather. Well, it was to be expected that all the channels were focusing on the Narada. This would be the big news for months, if not years.

“And so the families of the Enterprise crew gather outside Starfleet Headquarters to await the return of their loved ones in just a few hours. It is a bitter sweet time as we remember all those who will not be coming home again.”

“But a time to celebrate the courage of those young people in particular, those who gave their lives alongside the older officers and crew.”

“Yes, Cathy, but a small piece of news just in which contrasts sharply with their heroism. We have just heard that a senior cadet, James T Kirk, has just been expelled from the Academy for cheating on a crucial exam. His life may have been saved in that he was on academic suspension while the rest of his classmates went out into the black to answer the distress call from Vulcan.   James T Kirk is the son of Federation hero George Samuel Kirk who defined heroism by giving his life to save over 800 crew on the Kelvin twenty five years ago. It is hard to think that the Kirk name has been tarnished in such a way at this particular time.”

“Yes, John – that’s going to be one very unpopular young man. But we are moving now to our on the scene reporter Eric Parker, who is talking with some of the families waiting outside.”

Uhura switched the feed off.

“They expelled him? They threw him out?” McCoy whispered.

“And dragged his name in the mud,” said Chekov.

\---

McCoy stomped down the corridor to Sickbay. He had just had his session with Rivers and after much argument had signed the paper. He felt he had betrayed his friend, but the threats of court martial or simply a posting to some remote hell hole had scared him. What if he never saw his daughter again? He passed some other crew talking about the same thing.

“So did you sign it?”

“Yeah, I wasn’t too sure what it was about but I signed it anyway. Who is this Kirk guy anyway? Was he the one with the mad accent?”

“No, I think he was the young one with the mad eyebrows. I saw him in engineering and then on the shuttle deck.”

“Oh right. No, don’t know him.”

McCoy grimaced. Rivers had been right. A lot of the crew wouldn’t have known who Jim was, even if he had been by their side helping with repairs. He hadn’t swanned about in the yellow shirt, playing the acting Captain. Ironically Rivers and his team would have had to tell some crew who Jim was first before they ordered them to forget he was ever there.

\------

The docking of the Enterprise in Earth orbit and the decant of her crew was closely supervised by Starfleet PR. The tears, the joy, the reunions with family and friends provided countless photo-opportunities for the world’s media, none more so than the transfer of Captain Christopher Pike’s biobed from the Enterprise to Star Fleet Medical, complete with honour guard and salutes.

Komack himself was there to welcome the bridge crew and to stand beside them, ostensibly with pride and more practically to ensure that everyone interviewed followed the official line. Dr McCoy didn’t even bother. He pushed through to where the families were waiting and was amazed and delighted to see his mother waiting there with Joanna. He hugged her delightedly as she squealed.

He looked up to Eleanor McCoy with tears in his eyes. “Thanks Mom, this means so much. How on earth did you get Joce to agree for Jo to come along?”

“Well, we were all so worried. We had the news channel on the whole time .” Seeing McCoy’s face she hastily added “We kept Jo away from most of it of course but she wanted to see her daddy the hero. I think even Joce was impressed. So were we all – you did good, Leonard.”

He lifted Joanna in his arms and held her tight to his chest. Looking around he could see Sulu hugging an older woman (his mother, McCoy presumed) while he was thumped on the back by .. an older brother? Young Chekov was surrounded by a crowd of family, shouting excitedly in Russian. Uhura was introducing her parents to Spock.  The noise was excruciating and he could see Fleet officers waiting to escort them past the waiting media and into offical briefings. He wondered briefly if anyone had been waiting for Kirk and if they had been quickly hustled away. But no, even if there had been anyone (and that was unlikely as Jim had never mentioned any family), they wouldn’t have known he was even on the Enterprise. They would be keeping low, avoiding any mention of a cadet who had brought shame to such an illustrious family.

“Let’s get out of here.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After some Section 31 skulduggery, Jim flees San Francisco.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments so far.

As the two Security staff escorted Kirk to the front of the building, a sleek black vehicle drew up and two equally sleek officers in black exited.

One of them flashed an ID and said, “Okay, we’ll take it from here.”

“We have orders to escort Mr Kirk off the campus,” said one of the guards dubiously. He wasn’t actually sure what the ID had said, but didn’t like to ask for a closer look. The guys in black certainly acted like they had the authority. “Maybe we should check with –“

“Admiral Komack already knows,” the guy in black said shortly, grabbing Kirk’s duffle and throwing it into the back of his vehicle.

“Hey, wait a minute,” protested Kirk as the grip on his arms transferred from the guys in red (at least a known quantity) to the unknown men in black. “I’m going quietly here. You can’t just –.”

He was pushed none too gently into the back of the vehicle where another man was waiting with a hypospray. Kirk had no time to protest as it hit his throat and everything began to fade.

“I’m not too sure about this,” said the security guard looking after the black car as it sped away.

“Hey, if Komack’s ordered it, there’s nothing we can do,” said his colleague. “Just leave it.”

\-----

_In an unknown location, the men in black watch impassively as a man in white prepares another hypospray._

_“This’ll make him forget, right?”_

_“No, no, subtlety, gentlement, subtlety. It would look too suspicious if he suddenly got total amnesia,” said the man in white, holding the hypo up to check its calibration. “Likewise, if he just mysteriously disappeared, which was the first proposal, I believe. Kirk is too well known and too well connected – we don’t want a lot of questions asked. No, this will make just him a little confused, a little open to suggestion and we’ll suggest to him, very strongly, that he was on academic suspension during the recent incident, that he was never on the Enterprise. We will emphasise how shameful it is that others lost their lives trying to save Vulcan, while he was safe on campus. That it would be better for him to leave California, change his name and keep a low profile. Shame is a remarkably strong emotion, it should prevent him from doing too much even if his memory does start to return.”_

_“It’s not permanent, then?”_

_“It may be. It may not. Anyway, I daren’t use a stronger dose, not with his medical records. Things may start to come back in a few months or so but by then it will be too late for him to do anything, life will have moved on. You can come back in a couple of hours to pick him up.”_

\------  

 

The next couple of days passed in a haze for the Enterprise crew. They were officially debriefed – again – and paraded in front of the media with written scripts to read and instructions to not answer any questions which strayed from the official line. Mouths aching from the frozen smiles, the bridge crew talked uneasily in the short snatches of time they were able to get together.

McCoy stood for another publicity shot with his medical team and then the frozen smile dropped instantly from his face. He saw Sulu standing to one side looking particularly grim and moved across.

“All finished Doc?”

“God I hope so. But they’re a good team and they deserve all the praise they get. I’m not going to take that away from them. What about you?”

“Have you heard about the commendations?”

McCoy nodded, understanding why the young pilot was looking so conflicted.

“They’re talking about giving me a commendation for bravery for the dive to the drill. And a posthumous one for Olsen, though that should be for idiocy. I feel awful about this Doc, but my family are so excited.”

McCoy slapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t be. You did the dive, you deserve the commendation.”

“But I’d be dead if if wasn’t for-“ Sulu looked round carefully to make sure no one else was in earshot.

“We’d all be dead,” McCoy said bitterly.

“How’s Pike?”

“Still unconscious, but he’s getting stronger,” said McCoy. He was pinning all his hopes on Captain Pike waking up and telling the truth to the whole world.

“I hear there’s talk of the Medal of Honour for Spock”, said Sulu.

“Uhura will be delighted,” said McCoy shortly. “She didn’t like Jim anyway.”

After a pause while they watched the PR guys call another team to the dais for their photos, Sulus asked quietly “Have you spoken to him at all?”

McCoy shook his head. He had tried comming Jim but the only response was a female voice stating “This user account has been deleted”.

 

\---

As soon as the hullaballoo had died down, McCoy made his way to Starfleet Medical and demanded to see whoever had examined Kirk upon his return. Eventually a Doctor Philip Boyce, a kindly grey haired medic who surely must be close to retirement, came to see him.

“Doctor McCoy, it is an honour, sir, an honour. I have heard all you have done on the Enterprise and you and your team will deserve every commendation they award you. It was terrible news about Dr Puri. I didn’t know him well but he had a good reputation. And so many other good doctors and nurses lost, not only on the Enterprise but on the Farragut, the Potemkin - all those ships. Friends and colleagues. We still can’t get our heads round it.”

“Dr Boyce, thank you but I am here to find out about a cadet, James Kirk, who was brought here I understand.” Dr McCoy petered out. Was Boyce aware that Kirk had been on the Enterprise or was he being kept in the dark too? How much could he say?

“Ah yes, Cadet Kirk, the young man who was expelled. “

“That’s right. Did you see him before his hearing? Did you treat him?”

“Well,” said Boyce scratching his chin. “I saw him very briefly beforehand. He wasn’t in great shape and I wanted to admit him but I was told that unless he was actually critical, they needed him first. There wasn’t very much I could do for him in the short term. so I gave him some over the counter painkillers and a general stimulant to keep him on his feet. To tell the truth, I was expecting to get him back very shortly afterwards. I told them that he needed proper medical attention. I thought they would have him for an hour or two tops and then I would have him here in bed getting proper care.”

McCoy growled. “Can I see your initial exam results? I’m his primary physician,” he added by way of explanation.

Boyce reached into his desk for a padd and pulled up a brief examination report. “As you can see, he had a number of cracked ribs. Luckily none had perforated the lungs or I would not have been able to release him for the hearing. Severe bruising to the throat and trachea which made breathing and eating quite difficult. His left shoulder had been dislocated and I understand he put it back himself but there was some tissue damage. The fingers on his left hand had been broken and mended but the full mend had not been achieved. A great deal of other bruising. Otherwise, general exhaustion.”

McCoy could not believe it. “And they put him out on the street like that?”

“How exactly did he come by the injuries anyway?” Boyce asked curiously. “No one actually said.”

“No, they wouldn’t,” McCoy growled.

“I’m sure he went to the local hospital for care after his hearing,” said Boyce confidently.

McCoy gave a bark of laughter. “Yeah, that’d be right.” He did not sound amused.

 

\---

Jim looked around the bus station. He wasn’t exactly sure how he had got there but things had been a bit confused the last few hours. He had been at the Academy. And now he was here so he supposed he was going somewhere. By bus.

The screens at the station switched from advertising to news updates and of course there was the Enterprise. He felt a hot wash of shame flooding over him and shrunk back in his seat, pulling the hood of his hoodie up.   Archer was right. He wasn’t going to be popular and needed to get out of San Francisco. And he didn’t really want to see any of his fellow cadets, well apart from Bones of course. Bones wouldn’t say anything to him, he knew, but the others – Uhura for sure – would have plenty to say and who could blame them? After all they had gone through fighting the Romulans, while he – because of his stupid behaviour with the Maru test – had been safe on Earth. No, he needed to get out and keep a low profile.

He didn’t have much money. He would go as far as it would take him.

\------

Green River, Wyoming.   And from there hitch-hiking to a small town called Flintstone. It looked like so many small towns in America, generally missed by the 23rd century. It made Riverside look big (but then Riverside had had the benefit of the shipyard).

The trucker who had stopped for Jim on the highway dropped him off on the main street outside a shabby diner. Jim thanked him sincerely. The trucker had had no interest in Starfleet or the Narada or what had happened in San Francisco. Whenever the news had come on the radio, he had simply switched to the next country music station.

Jim looked around him with a bemused expression. Now what?

“I know, it is kinda hard to believe,” said a voice behind him. Jim turned to see a woman in her forties, dark curly hair, cigarette in her hand, leaning on the door outside the diner.

“I thought Flintstone was in Georgia,” Jim said confused, trying to think back to a trip he had made with McCoy.

“Could well be. I hear there’s one in Maryland as well, but I’m pretty sure we’re here in Wyoming. Lucky us.” She took a long drag on her cigarette. “I’m Brenda.”

“Uh, Jim… Davis.”

“Right. So what you doing here in Flintstone young Jim-long-pause-while-I-think-of-a-last-name-Davis?”

“This is where the money ran out,” said Jim bluntly.

“That’s why half the population is here,” she said with a grin. Jim smiled back.

“What’s the chance of getting any work here?”

“I don’t know – what can you do?”

“I’m a pretty good car mechanic. Or I can wait tables, flip burgers, sweep floors. At the moment I’m not in a position to be picky.”

“Well, Jim Davis. There’s an autoshop just down the road – why don’t you mosey on down there and ask for Theodore. He might be able to help you out. If not, come back and have a coffee and we’ll think about it. “

“That’s very good of you ma’am,” said Jim.

“Brenda. The name’s Brenda. Not even my mother was called ma’am.” She flicked the ash off her cigarette, winked at him and disappeared back inside the diner.

Jim spotted the autoshop easy enough. It was like many he had worked in before, namely a mess. Controlled chaos of cars, bikes, parts and the smells of oil and grease. Some things never changed. The technology might move on but it still broke down and needed repair. He walked in through the open doors.

“Hello? Anybody about?”

“Who’s askin’?”

Jim tracked the voice to a pair of legs under a beat up farm hover.

“Uh, are you Theodore?”

“Who wants to know?” said the legs.

“The name’s Jim Davis. I just got off the bus and I’m looking for work. Brenda at the diner said you might be able to help?”

The owner of the legs pushed out from under the hover. A thin black guy in his fifties, he looked Jim up and down, while wiping his hands on an oily rag.

“So Brenda sent you, huh? That woman falls for a pretty face every time. “

“I’m a pretty good mechanic,” said Jim. “I’ve spent most of my life fixing things.”

“Is that right? Says you. Well, tell you what kiddo. I’ve just about broke my back under that damn hover this morning. What say you slide under and take a look while I go get a coffee and have a word with Brenda to tell her she’s running a diner and not an employment bureau.”

“Sure,” said Jim eagerly.

“The office is locked by the way. Just in case you was thinking I was leaving you free range to go through the cash register and what not.”

“Under the hover, it is, “ said Jim with a grin.

“Then mebbe I’ll think about it. Not making any promises mind.”

“No promises,” agreed Jim. “Uh, you are Theodore by the way?”

“That’s me. And it’s Theodore and not Theo. You want to call me Theo or anything else and you can turn round right now” said the guy waving a finger under Jim’s nose.

“Noted. So go get your coffee and I’ll get down and dirty.”

“Huh,” huffed the man and he threw the oil rag at Jim. “Tool box is under there.”

\----

Thirty minutes later Theodore walked back into the autoshop to find Jim sitting on the hood of the hover reading an old magazine.   He frowned.

“Thought you were going to get down and dirty?” he growled.

“All done,” smiled Jim with a certain pride. “Engine’s purring like the proverbial kitten.   The guidance system was bust as well.”

“Yeah, I need to get a new system to put in.”

“No need. I fixed it.”

Theodore looked at him hard. “You fixed it? You telling me you’re a software specialist as well as a mechanic?”

“I can put my hand to most things” said Jim with a broad grin.

Theodore grinned back. “Well, let’s just see first shall we, before you start bragging?”

Jim hopped off the hood and made way for the older man to get into the driver’s seat. The engine turned first time.

Theodore nodded to himself and swung round to look at Jim.

“Okay son. It seems like you know what you’re doing. But there are some things I need to know first. Are you in trouble with the law?”

“No.”

“Then what are you doing in Flintstone, the back end of nowhere?”

Jim swallowed. “My family threw me out,” he said. It was true in more ways than one. Feeling that maybe a little more was needed, he added “I didn’t get on with my step-dad.”  

That was true, even if he hadn’t actually seen the bastard for years.

Theodore humphed to himself.

“Man, I really need the work,” said Jim desperately. “I’m a good mechanic and I can work hard.”

“You look like you’ve been fighting. I don’t want some guy who’s going to get drunk all the time picking fights.”

Jim felt himself going red. “Yeah, I got beat up pretty bad a week or so ago. But it wasn’t a bar fight.”

“Your step-daddy?” guessed Theodore.

“I…well, it wasn’t a bar fight. I wasn’t drunk. I mean, I like a drink as much as the next guy but I can promise you if you take a chance on me, you won’t regret it.”

“Huh,” said Theodore again. He stood in silence for a couple of minutes. “Well, how ‘bout this? I’ll give you a month’s trial and we’ll see how you go. I could use an extra pair of hands. People round here don’t have the money for new and the old’s always needing some repair or other. I can’t pay much mind but if you haven’t got anywhere to stay, there’s a room over the office. It’s not much. I used to sleep there myself before I got a place.”

Jim felt a huge wave of relief.

\------  

Days pass quietly in Flintstone and Jim can appreciate that. He spends long hours at the autoshop doing work he could do in his sleep and then goes up to the room above the office. He doesn’t socialise. He talks a bit to Theodore and to Brenda when Theodore sends him down to the diner for coffee. But he quietly insists to both that he doesn’t want to discuss his past and they both respect that. He doesn’t go out at night. He doesn’t mix with the younger people in the small town. There is a small bar but he avoids temptation. He cannot risk getting drunk and saying something that might alert anyone to his real identity. He occasionally brings a couple of beers back to his room but otherwise he keeps his head down.

His bruises begin to fade and he maybe takes more over the counter painkillers than he should but they keep him going.

Brenda and Theodore agree that he is a nice kid and that his step-daddy sure did a number on him. Theodore is pleased with his work. He is getting a faster turn-round on repairs and doesn’t have to send the specialist computer work to Green River anymore.   Jim never complains, even when a customer turns up with an urgent repair just at closing time. The month’s trial passes. Theodore doesn’t mention it.   Sometimes he tucks a few extra credits in Jim’s jacket for a job well done.

This is his life now.

\------

Alone in the small shabby room above the machine shop, he dreams as memory starts to return.

_“He is a cheat,” says Spock. “If he cheated on the Kobyashi Maru, what else has he cheated on? It certainly casts doubt on his suspiciously high test results in the past. He is not the calibre of person I would expect to find in a position of responsibility in Starfleet.”_

_“He’s a hick,” says Uhura bluntly. “A farm boy who thinks he can swan into the Academy and compete with the crème de la crème. Can you imagine him at a diplomatic dinner? He wouldn’t even know what cutlery to use.”_

_“Well, he did save my life, “ says Sulu. Then after a pause, “Oh no, wait. It was Chekov who saved us both with the transporter. “_

_McCoy leans forward. “Look, I’ve known Jim for three years now. Followed me round the Academy like a stray dog you can’t get rid of. Sure we had a laugh. We went out drinking but kid seemed to think I was some sort of free out of hours medical service. Got a bit tired after a while, ya know? And sure he’s smart but do I want an idiot like that as captain of the ship I’m on? Hell no!”_

_“Disappointing,” says Pike. “But sometimes you think you see promise in someone and then realise you were wrong. You win some, you lose some. He’s nothing like his father.”_

_“Well, I am sure he tried his best,” says Chekov with a kind smile._ Jim thinks that of them all this is probably the worst.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> McCoy finally finds Kirk.

Crossing the quad, McCoy saw young Chekov with his head stuck in a padd. He hailed him and the boy looked round.

“Doctor McCoy – it is good to see you again..”

“Chekov, I need your help,” McCoy broke in.

“Of course, sir, what ever I can do for you, you only have to ask.”

“I want to find Jim.”

Chekov blinked and looked round as if expecting the admirals or at least Rivers to be listening from the nearby bushes. “I have not seen him at all since we docked. I do not know where he is. I thought you might – as his friend.”

“No, I haven’t seen him either. I don’t know if he’s even still in the city. His padd has been closed down, everything’s gone from his dorm. He didn’t even leave a note.”

“Perhaps he does not want to be found,” said Chekov carefully, adding a hasty “yet” when he saw McCoy’s face.

“More likely Komack has sent him packing. Chekov, I have to find him. This isn’t like Jim. He would be fighting it. He wouldn’t let them walk over him like this unless…”

Chekov nodded wisely. “Unless they had threatened him with consequences for the rest of us. For you in particular.”

McCoy swallowed hard. “I just can’t let it go, Pavel. He’s my best friend.”

“And he saved Earth,” Chekov nodded vigorously. “I will help you. It is not right, what they have done.”

“I’ve checked the local hospitals. He didn’t go to any of them.”

Chekov looked puzzled.

“I didn’t get to treat Jim after the Narada, before they grabbed him off the Enterprise,” McCoy explained. “He wasn’t in good shape. He got a quick check at SF Medical before his briefing but no treatment as such – and then they threw him out on the street.”

“Would he go home to his family?”

“He doesn’t have any family. Just us.”

Chekov nodded again. He did not find it odd to find himself classed as family after only knowing Kirk for a few hours. All who had gone through Narada were family now.

“I don’t think he would stay in the city,” McCoy said. “I don’t think the Admirals would want him around.”

“So we check the transport hubs. Check the ports, flight schedules. I can do that.”

“He might not be using his real name.”

“That makes it a bit more difficult, but I can run his picture against the port security footage. They have cameras everywhere.”

“You can do that?”

“It is not so difficult. Their security protocols will not be on the same level as Starfleets. But there will be a lot of footage to check, it may take some time.”

“Can you do train and bus stations too?” asked McCoy. “He might not get a plane. He might not have been able to afford it.”

He could see Chekov look a bit surprised at that. Everyone seemed to think that George Kirk’s son had some huge trust fund somewhere and that Jim had been raised with the proverbial silver spoon in his mouth. No one else seemed to know that the money Jim spent on booze (and text books) came from part-time jobs squeezed in between studies.

“Perhaps Mr Sulu could help?” he suggested as he realised the extent of what he was asking Chekov to do. Sulu and Chekov had seemed to hit it off right away.

“Yes, I will ask him and we will start straight away.”

“Pavel, I know I shouldn’t be asking you or Sulu to help on this. I don’t want to get you into trouble, but I wouldn’t know how to – where to begin.”

“Don’t worry, Doctor. “ Chekov said earnestly. “Starfleet have the right to do many things, but they do not choose our friends for us. Those Cossacks have forced us to say things and we have said them, we have hidden the truth but we will not throw Mr Kirk out like so much garbage.”

“Jim,” said McCoy with a tired smile. “He would want you to call him Jim.”

He clapped Chekov on the back and made his way across the quad. It was still a blow to see how deserted the campus looked and felt. Just a few weeks ago the Academy had been buzzing with cadets rushing to and from class, catching up with the latest gossip, worrying about finals. Now most of the whole final year were gone.

Jim would have been here with his nose in a padd as usual.

He walked on.

\-----

It took seven months. Seven months of running face recognition software on an ever expanding network of CCTV footage from transport terminals, shopping malls, streets, first in California and then expanding into other states. Chekov had decided that this was the most unobtrusive method, rather than name checking transport and financial activities. After a couple of weeks they had all given up watching the screens and just let the software to run in the background.

In the meantime there was coursework to finish, final exams to sit, graduation. McCoy thought that the brass might have given the final year class a bye, given their experiences on the Narada but no. Even though the senior classes had been decimated (not decimated thinks McCoy because that would mean one in ten killed whereas after Nero it was more like one in ten had survived), the Academy was still going by the book. And maybe that return to routine was a good thing, maybe that had been recommended by the therapists as a means of restoring the survivors to some sense of normality.

But things will never be normal again because the dorms are empty, the classrooms are empty and McCoy’s small room has never seemed emptier because Jim isn’t there. There’s no dirty laundry on the floor, no smell of burning toast, no padds on every surface.  

McCoy did not think that he could ever return to that level of bitterness he had felt after his divorce but now he knows different. It is not just Jim’s absence but the ever present hypocrisy played through on news channels and other media of the triumphant victory over the Narada, the heroes of the battle of Vulcan – Captain Christopher Pike (who McCoy hasn’t seen since he was taken off the Enterprise, doesn’t even know his condition, is he awake? Does he know about Jim?), the stoic Vulcan Commander Spock (may he burn in hell for what he has done), the courageous Sulu and Chekov, the resourceful Uhura. Not much about Scott, the strange but cheerful engineering genius Jim had found on Delta Vega –Starfleet evidently decided that the less said about his reappearance, the better.

McCoy himself had thought of returning his commendation but his daughter had been so proud, he could not bring himself to do it. But he cannot envisage a life in space without Jim and is biding his time until Starfleet will accept his resignation and let him fade away.

Until one day seven months later McCoy’s computer pings at him and he looks at it and wonders what it is trying to tell him. He was never a computer nerd and is just back from an eight hour shift at SFM hospital. He would like to switch it off like an alarm clock but it keeps on pinging. Perhaps he should get someone from down the hall to take a look. He is just standing up to call IT support when the screen changes to a blurry shot of someone standing in some public venue, indoors but people passing back and forth. It is blurry but it is a young man with short fair hair, wearing a ratty t shirt and jeans and the computer is flashing across the screening 98% probability match with James T Kirk and suddenly McCoy is laughing and crying and his comm is suddenly going off and it is Chekov whose system has also triggered.

\-----

The venue is identified as a public office in Flintstone Wyoming. McCoy applies for leave from the hospital and doesn’t even wait to check if it has been approved.

\----  

 

By the time McCoy got to Flintstone (which is not on a direct transport route) night had fallen. But the diner on the main street was still open and buzzing. He went inside and was immediately hit by a warm fug of coffee fumes, hamburger grease and fries. He went up to the counter and ordered a coffee. Keeping his fingers crossed, he got his padd out with a picture of Jim open on the screen.

“Excuse me miss? I’m trying to find a friend of mine. I think he might be in town? Do you think you could help me?”

McCoy is a good looking man and a tired, fed up waitress was only too happy to take a minute to speak to him.

She looked at the picture and grinned. “Oh, it’s Jimmy! Hey Brenda, it’s a friend of Jimmy’s.”

A dark older woman came over and looked him over suspiciously.

“Can you help me ma’am? I’ve been looking for Jim for weeks.”

“And who are you exactly?”

“I’m his best friend. He just disappeared from….home and his friends have been looking everywhere for him.” He suddenly cottoned on to the suspicious looks. “I’m not a cop or anything. I’m a doctor.”

“He’s living at Theo’s,” said the young waitress brightly. Brenda looked sharply at her, annoyed that perhaps too much information had been given away too early.

The waitress wilted under her glare. “Maybe I’ll just go clear some tables,” she said.

“You do that, Veronica.” said Brenda.

McCoy smiled in his best “don’t worry, I’m a doctor” way, guaranteed – almost – to engender confidence in wary patients. “So, Jim’s at Theo’s? Can you give me directions?”

 

\---

McCoy was directed up the street to the auto-repair shop and climbed a rickety metal staircase at the side of the building leading up to the rooms above. He said a quick prayer and knocked on the door. No response, He knocked again.

“Okay, okay, I’m coming,” said a familiar voice from inside. McCoy’s heart leapt and as soon as the door opened he had Jim in a huge bear hug.

Jim fell backwards. “What? Who…Bones? Is that you? Sorry, I haven’t got my contacts in.”

“Of course it’s me you chump. Do you know how long we’ve been looking for you? God, we have been so worried. Why did you disappear like that?”

Jim hugged him again with a suspicious snuffle and then pulled back, wiping at his nose with his sleeve and said “Oh man, it’s good to see you but you shouldn’t have come. How did you find me anyway?”

“Aren’t you going to let me in?” Try as he might, McCoy could not get the grin off his face.

“Yeah, okay,” Jim opened the door wider.

McCoy looked around. It was a small room with one door leading presumably to the bedroom and bathroom. A battered couch with a coffee table, scratched and covered with ring marks, in front of it. A small kitchenette off to one side with a sink and microwave. The walls were grimy, the carpet ripped, there were damp patches on the ceiling. No tv, no computers – where were all the padds and books that had always defined Jim?

“God, Jim, this is a dump,” he couldn’t stop himself.

“Yeah, I’m not really set up for guests,” Jim said looking around as if seeing the room for the first time. “Sit down. Um, I’d offer you a beer or something, but I don’t actually have anything .”

“How can you live like this?” McCoy said appalled.

“Hey, don’t knock it.” Kirk frowned. “I’ve lived like this most of my life. Lots of people live like this. We can’t all be doctors in fancy Georgian mansions. What d’ya want anyway?”

“What do I want?” McCoy could not believe his ears. “I want to see you of course. I want to see that you’re okay. I want to bring you back home.” He took a closer look at Kirk himself. “God, you look terrible.”

“’ ‘m fine. Just… surprised to see you.”

McCoy frowned. Jim had always been the thin side of slender, now he was the skinny side of thin. He looked exhausted, his face grey, his eyes dark ringed and bleary. He was barefoot wearing tattered jeans and a dirty t shirt.

McCoy wished he had brought his medical tricorder with him.

“So, how have you all been doing? I would have thought you would have been back in the black by now. How’s Pike?”

“Pike is… well, I was taken off his case as soon as we docked and to tell the truth I haven’t seen him since. But no news is good news and we knew it was going to take time to get him back on his feet again. And as for the rest of us, well graduations’s over and we’re all back at the Academy for now awaiting assignment. But we were worried about you. You just disappeared. You didn’t even say goodbye.”

“Yeah, well.” Kirk flung himself back on the couch, running his hand through his messy hair. “What can I say? They made it quick.  “Thanks for saving the world, shut the door on your way out.” What time is it anyway? “

“It is three thirty five. Sorry for coming up in the middle of the night but I really needed to see if it was you. “

“Oh man, I have to get up for work in an hour and a half.”

“Okay, we’ll talk in the morning. Can I use the bathroom? I’m just about busting here” Not a complete lie but McCoy also wanted to send a quick text.

Kirk gestured to the other door. “Be my guest.”

“Thanks.”

The tiny bathroom was just as grim. There was a dripping shower and wet laundry hung over the shower rail. MCoy sat down on the toilet and got his phone out. He sent a short text to Pavel.   “Found him – will call tomorrow with more info”.

He looked at himself in the mirror and smiled. No matter what, they had found Jim. They were one big step ahead of where they had been yesterday.

He went back out and sat on the couch beside Jim.

“Jim, what have you been doing? You can’t just stay here in the middle of nowhere like a nobody.”

“Yeah, well, for three years I thought I was somebody and look where that got me,” Jim said defensively.

“You are most definitely are somebody and I am not going to let you forget it, all right?”

Jim rubbed his eyes tiredly. “Bones, please, I can’t do this right now, okay? I’m tired and I don’t want you yelling at me. I have to go to work soon and it might not be much of a job compared to Starfleet but it gets me through the week and it pays the bills and I can’t afford to lose it.”

McCoy was aghast. Where was the cocky confident playboy he had known only a few short months ago. Why hadn’t Jim seen this as simply another no-win scenario and fought against it? What had happened? Even homeless and on the street McCoy would have believed that Jim would still have been a force to be reckoned with. There was something wrong here, McCoy knew but maybe the middle of the night wasn’t the best time to investigate.

“Okay, we’ll talk properly tomorrow. You get some sleep. I’m not yelling at you. I’m just so damn glad to see you again.” He hugged his friend again, feeling the thin shoulders under the cotton t-shirt. “You get to bed.”

“Can’t.”

“Why not?”

“You’re sitting on it. Have you got a hotel?”

“No. Is there one near here?”

“There’s a travel lodge down by the bus station. But it’s quite a walk back there so I guess you’re staying here, even if it is a dump. You can have the couch.”

McCoy started to protest, but Jim said “I’ll be fine on the floor. Usually end up there anyway. See, I’ll roll up in the blanket and be snug as a bug in a rug.”

McCoy was inclined to argue some more, but Jim simply curled up on the floor and ignored him. After a few minutes he was snoring softly. McCoy took his boots off and lay down on the couch but sleep was not easy. He was still seething with anger. McCoy knew that his friend had some self esteem issues stemming from his childhood, his bluster and cockiness all a mask, but he had always been confident in his own abilities, in the no-win scenario. Mcoy wasn’t sure what had happened, but he wanted _his_ Kirk back.

\----

He must have dozed off eventually because the next thing he knew was the sound of the shower going. Daylight was creeping round the dirty blind. A minute later Jim came out in his underwear and hopped from foot to foot dragging on his jeans.

“You awake?” he asked softly.

“Just about, “ McCoy answered.

“I don’t have coffee or anything here but the diner down the street’s not bad. It stays open all night. We could get some breakfast if you want.”

“Okay, give me five minutes.” McCoy groaned and pulled himself up. The couch hadn’t seemed too bad when he had first lain down but now every bone in his body was creaking in protest. As they went out the door, Jim took him by the arm.

“By the way, it’s Jim Davis here. Not Kirk. You didn’t tell anybody here, did you? My real name, I mean, when you were looking for me? I don’t need any more problems.”

“No, I didn’t. I’m sure I didn’t. I had just got round to showing your picture at the diner and one of the waitresses just jumped right in with ‘that’s Jimmy’.”

“Okay. So, Jim Davis. Don’t forget.”

The diner was nearly half full to McCoy’s surprise until he realised that most were night shift workers coming off shift and a handful of day shift workers like Jim grabbing a bite before going to work. The same dark waitress McCoy had met the previous evening came over with an order padd.

“Hi Jimmy, how ya doing?”

“Hi Brenda. Just black coffee for me. Make it strong, I need something to wake me up.”

“And your friend?”

McCoy realised he was actually quite hungry. He didn’t think the diner would provide much in the way of healthy options such as granola and fruit salad but the aroma of frying bacon and toast was too tempting anyway. “I’ll have the full breakfast plate, please. Eggs over easy, brown toast.”

Ten minutes later Brenda was back with their order. She placed a tall stack of pancakes in front of Jim.

“I didn’t order these Brenda,” he says.

“Tough, you’re eating ‘em. It’s a bad advert for the diner to have you sitting there looking like the wind could blow through you.”

“I can…”

“Just eat them honey,” she says forcefully. “I want to see a clean plate when I get back.”

Jim smiled weakly at McCoy. “Good people here.”

“So, how long before you have to get to this job of yours?” asked McCoy.

“I guess about fifteen minutes. I have to eat these pancakes or I’m a dead man. You don’t mess with Brenda.”

“So talk to me. I want to know what happened.”

“What happened? Nothing much, Bones. I cheated on the Maru and I got thrown out. And I’m sure there were a lot of people who said I had it coming.” He looked queryingly at McCoy who dropped his face to the table. “Yeah, thought so.  And after the Narada with all the press interest, well the brass thought it would be better if I got out of Dodge and they were probably right so I got on a bus and here I am. ”

“You didn’t think of going home?”

“Home? You mean Riverside? God no.” Jim grimaced. “Riverside’s a ship town. They would have tarred and feathered me if I had turned up. Do they still do that to people? Maybe not but then they probably would have made an exception in my case. So I just got on the bus and this is where I landed. I asked around to see if I could get any work and the auto shop here took me on after I showed them I knew what I was doing. And the boss lets me have the room in part lieu of wages. So I’m sweet.”

“You’re sweet?” gasped McCoy. “Jim, I can’t believe you.”

“Hey, I’m better off than a lot of people who were brought home in body bags, if at all.”

He smiled shyly at McCoy. “You know, I saw you on tv getting your commendations. It was great. I mean you looked sad, but it was a sad thing. There’s been a lot of coverage. I guess you know that. I don’t watch it all. It gets me down.”

“Jim, we didn’t want to do it, you know that, don’t you? We didn’t want to go along with them?”

“I know, Bones. They had it all tied up pretty tight and you have your family to think of.”

“You’re family too and I just rolled over, Jim. I just let them wipe you out of the picture, after all you had done. You should have been the one getting the medals, getting the publicity. You saved the earth. You should be Captain of the Enterprise.”

Jim pushed his chair back and stood. “Don’t, Bones. I was a pain in the ass all those years, saying how I was going to be Captain. It was all talk, it’s over.” He shouted across to Brenda, “Just put this on my tab, Bren, okay? I have to go to work.”

Brenda came over to the table as Jim went out the door. “You’d better be paying for this, friend. There’s no way I’m letting Jimmy cover the bill. He has barely two credits to rub together and I’m not letting him pay for that big breakfast you haven’t even touched.”

“No, fine, I got it,” says McCoy. “Just top my coffee up, will ya?”

\------

Later that evening when Jim came home from work, McCoy tried again.

“Jim, it’s not like you just to give up like this. Come back with me. We’ll get it sorted out. The Academy can’t just throw you out. Dammit, they can’t afford to throw out one of the best officers they’ve ever had or are likely to have, especially now. There are too few of us left. Even Komack and Barnett have to see that.”

“Bones.”

“Pike will make them see sense. He’ll be on your side.”

“Bones… I’m not sure I want to go back.”

“You don’t mean that. Starfleet’s your life. You’re tired, is all.“

“Bones, I _am_ tired. And that’s the problem.” Jim lay back on the couch beside McCoy and rubbed his eyes. “It’s like I’m fighting all the time. I’ve been fighting all my life and maybe I’m just tired of it. You know I look back and what is there? What is there really?” He sighs.

“Jim, - “

“No, Bones. Ever since I was a kid I’ve been pretending to be something I’m not. I’m pretending not to care about anything, have a big smile on my face. Pretending I don’t hear what they’re saying about me behind my back. I used to think if I worked harder, if I did better in school, it would make a difference. But it never did. Either people thought I was some sort of teachers’ pet or they thought I cheated. I thought it would be different at the Academy, but it was just the same.   I’m tired of people sneering and talking behind my back. About how I only got in because of my father or because I’m trading sexual favours for grades. I never once heard anybody say “Hey, that Jim Kirk – maybe he’s just really smart”. And that’s never going to change and I know it’s my own fault. I’m a jerk. I’m not a nice person. At least, Jim Kirk isn’t a nice person. Jim Davis might have a chance. Do you know what I like about this place? I can go into the restroom in the bar and there’s nothing written about me on the wall.   Jim Davis has friends here. People talk to _me_ – not to George Kirk’s son, not the drunk, not the fuck-up.”

“You have friends, “began McCoy. “You always had lots of friends.”

“Jim Kirk had one friend and I’m looking at him. All those other drinking buddies or people who wanted my lecture notes? Perhaps you never noticed how none of them ever turned up to visit when I was in the hospital that time the shuttle crashed in that training flight. Every other bed in that fucking hospital had shiny balloons and flowers and get well cards. All I got was my doctor who yelled at me the whole time – thanks for that – and my Starfleet adviser. “

Jim sighed, it was almost as if he was talking to himself. “I thought once I graduated and got out in the black some commanding officer would actually want me for my brains and all that other stuff wouldn’t matter. I’d be with you on – I don’t know – I guess I was hoping the Enterprise with Pike – and we’d work hard and meet up to grouse about our senior officers and it would be like the Academy, only better because maybe people would forget all that other stuff. Even after the Narada when they came and took me off the Enterprise, I still had it in my head that – okay, maybe there’d be some flak about the Maru – but that they would debrief me and see that I had done the best I could and let me graduate with the rest of you. But it was awful, Bones, they wouldn’t listen to me about anything. All that stuff came right back at me again about getting in on my dad’s name and cheating my way through the Academy and how I was a slut who just brought Starfleet and the Academy into disrepute.”

McCoy could feel the steam building but Kirk wasn’t finished.

“And the worst thing was that they kinda said Vulcan was my fault.”

McCoy exploded. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Well Pike sent me down to disable the drill and – I didn’t. “

“You weren’t on your own, if you remember. That asshole Olsen was there too before he showboated his way to glory and Sulu.”

“Pike made me first officer – it was my mission and I blew it.” Jim said softly.

“Jim, you couldn’t have known what they were going to do. You did your best.”

“Not good enough though, Bones. And when you think about it , if I had been a bit quicker putting two and two together about the lightning storm in space and what I had heard Uhura telling Gaila about the Klingon fleet being destroyed – “

McCoy grabbed him by the shoulders. “Now just a godammned minute. This is the worse kind of ego trip! Not everything in this universe depends on you!  There are two dozen what ifs for everything that happened and the blame rests with Nero and his crew on their damned revenge trip or with old Spock for starting the whole thing in the first place. If it hadn’t been for you, our Spock would have turned the Enterprise round and run back to the Laurentian system with his tail between his legs and Earth would be a black hole, same as Vulcan. You saved the earth, you saved the Enterprise, you saved my little girl. You, nobody else.”

Jim smiled bleakly. “It doesn’t matter now anyway. It’s over. The admirals have rewritten history and if anybody remembers Jim Kirk, it will just be as the jerk who cheated on the Kobayashi Maru. Go home, Bones. Let Jim Kirk rest in peace while Jim Davis gets on with his life.”

“Jim, come back with me. We can sort this out.” McCoy pleaded.

Jim stood. “Bones, you are the best friend I ever had. You are probably the only friend I ever had so maybe that’s not saying much,” he added with a flash of black humour. “Thanks for sticking by me all these years and for coming looking for me, but go back and get your own life in order.”

“Jim-“

“Please. I - I just need time and space - to lick my wounds in peace. Please Bones, just let it go.”

Jim hugged him hard and briefly and then McCoy found himself on the wrong side of a closed door.

 

 

 

### Epilogue

Two months later.

“Jimmy, someone to see you.” Theodore kicked his legs sticking out from under the truck.

Jim pulled himself out from under to see McCoy leaning casually against the desk, leafing through the local paper that Theodore had left there.

“Bones? What are you doing back? I thought you’d be-“ Jim pulled himself to his feet.

“Well now Jim boy, I just called in to say hallo. I’m just taking a walk round town, finding out what’s what and who’s who.”

“What?”

“Well a small town country doctor should get to know his community, don’t you think?”

“What???” Jim’s face screwed up in total bewilderment.

“You’re repeating yourself there Jimmy.”

“Doctor McCoy’s going into partnership with Doc Meadows,” shouted in Theodore. “About time that old git got some help.”

“You’re…. you’re going to work here? In Flintstone?”

“Yeah, well, two days a week anyway. The other three days I’m heading up the neurosurgery unit in Cheyenne Community Hospital.   It should be a nice balance, don’t ya think?” McCoy grinned.

“You’ve left Starfleet?” Jim couldn’t take it in. “You resigned?”

“Yeah.  After nine months I guess they figured that I wasn’t going to spill the beans about you know what and I made it clear that no way was I going to go back into the black without you.”

“But you could have got a posting at Star Fleet Medical. A teaching post. Anything you wanted. Any hospital. It would have been a feeding frenzy with your record.”

“Now then Jimmy, I’m getting to think here that you’re not glad to see me. Too late anyway. Yeah, I’m putting down some roots. I’ve bought a house.”

“You’ve _what_???”

“Yeah, just outside of town. Nice little place. I might get a dog. Enough space so Joanna can come visit. Only thing is – I might need to get a lodger to help cover the costs.” McCoy looked at the back of the paper to where the small ads were. “I might have to advertise.”

“A lodger? Why, don’t heads of neurosurgery earn much these days?”

“Peanuts, Jimmy, peanuts,” McCoy shook his head in mock disgust. “What ya think? Think I might be able to find someone to room with me?”

Jim wiped his oily hands and smiled. “I don’t know. There might not be that many people who’d be prepared to put up with your grouching.”

“Yeah,” McCoy nodded thoughtfully. “I’ll definitely need someone who can put up with me and vice versa of course. Let me know if you think of anybody. Any way, I’ve got some more places to visit. That Brenda at the diner is a fine looking woman. I think I’m gonna be a frequent visitor there.”

He waved goodbye to Theo and on the way out said “Yeah, definitely gonna think about getting’ a dog.”

 

The end

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kind remarks and kudos. Some of you want to see Jim bouncing back and resuming his rightful place. Watch out for Spinning the Narada - Resurrection.


End file.
